vole vole mon amour

you left again. and i have no words.
i feel numb i feel dead.
i am a souless body walking around with no desire to continue.
i fall in a trance of tears and mindless sadness.
i wish i was with you where ever you went.
i wish you were mine again.

perfait

i want to give you some good,good loving...
so am typing up my last report for store planning and since i am a little off in the head when i shouldnt be. well i decided to check my ex boyfriends myspace since after ll i have the data ,might as well. i go in and its in french so i basically had to memorize what each thing is and what it means. i went into his mail inbox/outbox blahh.so i see a new message from t-dot this rapper he does videos for.so i read and it says that he will be in MIAMI at 6pm it was then 4 pm. i well... i freak out, mind you we hadent talked for like a week and out of no where your in my same country.
bizzare.but amazing!
i couldnt concentrate on my danm project anymore. i finished quikly and head down the bay to my old roomates flat. i runned inside only to find her naked and wet.the usual if you ask me hahhahha. so i explain my high blood preasure and complained because Frenchi didnt inform me he was coming, i felt rejected and ignored. so we decided to call it a night to celebrate the fact schools over,frenchi is here and her best friend is flying in today! my friends are in a pretty dope gogo music band and they were playing at the VAGAbond (a launge my whole schoool decides to chill in)so we went and drank a fair amount of alcohol. that put a smile in face . so am parking my car and i get my ID out and i see my red light on my phone meaning i had missed something. i had two missed calls from frenchi and a voicemail. i freaked out once again bc i knew he was just miles away.i called back and let my friend enter le disko,he answerd right away screaming "baby am in miami" in his oh so strong french accent,which i fiend for. but any who he quikly told me to go to his dads club where he was at ,but i couldnt right then and there so i went after.
i drove and the word nervous wasnt enough to describe me. i havent seen him in 4 months exactly.when i got there i parked and didnt even look at the mirror lighted up a red malboro and made my way through spring breakers and the beaches wind.i finally get there ,i walk in like i own the place and there he is to the left waiting for me with a huge smile and his lit cigarette.
i kissed him hard and gave him an everlasting hug that he will feel forever.
distance can fuck up people in the head,he became this "thing" to me. something not real sereal at that. but i love him so much i look up to him no matter what. his motivation and honesty mixed together. his perfect.
i slept in his arms and enjoyed his scent, his breathing,his heart beat,his shaved head,his muscular arms and his aora.

i cant stop sadness

i seem to like being sad and crying .

my favorite movie is titanic ,the first time i saw it i was 8 years old and had no idea what pain,suffering and love was but when i saw this film i felt the character so deep in me and related with her so well i felt i was living in her time and had the same problem.

i saw the movie over 100 times and still continue to watch it and everytime i do i feel the sadness of this hopeless girl, now being older i can still feel the same feeling i did then when i was 8. its so marvelous and tragic at the same time, i cry with passion and need of affection as if i was the one who lost jack. so more ahead of my feeling i tend to understand myself more and more everytime i watch this film. sometimes i think that the intense pain and suffering i go through watching this film that is do to past unconsious situations i have faced in my past lives, i dont know dont understand but i do know that this melancholy i have inside is real and i cant contain it. i cry and cry and cry as if i was rose who lost her one and only love.

and now he only exists in my memory....................

with you,contigo

what i want is to be free and love and be loved back.

i would die with you if they kill you

i would kill if you would die.

and it is that simple.

lets toast to our health.

i dont want no apples, i dont want no summer in january i dont want to kiss your scars
i dont want venice without you

dont ask me to start over

i dont want to know why you did it.

all i want is you.
with you and contigo.

source:thecobrasnake.com

ill say it forever

i need you now your so fast asleep, sleep and sound but well you lay here with me ...i think..well maybe.i like today and i think is good.but its lucid ..maybe perhaps an imagination and i still think love comes easy.a pen drops and i scream i love you.oh i need you now and your so fast asleep. this room is safe .. but safe from what?i lay here with you and i feel you near ,i think i like today but i know i love youand this sound is so sweet the sound of you and that and me. and we i hold you close and far but ill say it for ever, i love you.i know were not exclusive but we would all like to be. lets light the fuse and enjoy it, every minute is another chance to show : joy, love,sadness,light,darkness and your invited.the world outside and us inside i love your smile and your ways your views but ill say it for ever, i love you.dont leave home, if your cold come here if your scared ill be waiting and just hold on..ill make you weaker like a child if you give me all your love but i will never drop you.ill be the blankets and the white pillows to lay on and dream, ill be your water and lime to sour to know but sweet for you. ill be here and ill say it for ever, i love you.ill be our distraction ill be your resurrection but this place is dead it echos through town and the plains flew in but i did to but ill still have you. ill say it for ever, i love you.

divine chaos

i hear but i dont see i guess in my eyes i will never .but they tell me and you warmed me but i live i love i cry i learn.sometimes i want to scream ,shout and run ahead behind you. but i suddenly do.and when i see that there i smile cant deny i enjoy pain and suffer for joy.bleed for that bleed for you but i know i dont and am confused .unbalanced like a libra scale and depressed from the thought of realization, i block the thruth calm over me its sure bc you show the lies in a disguised body.ive been waiting and living in this situation ,pure enjoyment i endorse .joy you give and take.everyday you take a lil more and more and more . i just ahhh.....when you walk away the sun goes down and my hands tangle up .just for a while , it wont hurt but ill be ready.flowers sightings all in the best, dont even speak shut the door and dont go.imagine bein in me ,ill be your safety and your morning pill.but your simply divine chaos.

Love is Old Love is New

love is old, love is new
with things moving n grooving i become a moving text a number perhaps maybe a article ...?
i get interviewd daily with make up n with out

i start a new begining every step i take; nothing holds clarity
n if its sure then its not clear
but why should i weep n sorrow?
my happyness is busy with goals and future guides
c.ds videos & films all of what i am today
the fashion queen with no sleep
the white substance, the green trees
with lucy n the octopus under the sea
in the sky up high
or in the ocean down low
i am what u see what u desire in a woman
childish dreams with lolipops and nice silky sheets
the candle light dimmed with the capri in hand
the nice soft autum breeze n the dirty balcony
i love them dearly. we drink we smoke
we have sex
i hate him the next day, no calls no text all but ignore
so i walk n run from the thoughts of men
no feelings cold play
i am a bitch with no heart
bc love is old love, love is new

love is old & love aint you.